hack ghosts

A friend and I were walking late last night along the Canal Walk when we got into a discussion about the ghosts that haunt Richmond. According to folklore, there have been multiple ghost pirate ship sightings on the James River, vampires are buried in Hollywood Cemetery and a little ghost boy plays outside the Capital building every night.

Pirate ship? Spooky.

Vampires? Creepy.

A child's laughter at night? Terrifying

But all this talk of ghosts made me wonder... are there ghosts who aren't spooky? I'm not talking about Casper, the friendly ghost, but more like ghost's who are just inept. They would either have died in hilarious - yet tragic - accidents or have personalities/professions that just aren't conducive to being a good, old fashioned, cliche ghost.

Without further ado, I present to you the top eight best worst ghosts:

Drunk Sorority Girl Ghost.
Two words: ghost vomit. With the catchphrase "Boo....or whatever", drunk sorority girl ghost can usually be found crying in dive bar bathrooms around 2am.

Stripper Ghost.
Much like drunk sorority ghost, stripper ghost would always have to be high to haunt. She would say things like "Ooohhhhh...." or "Booooooooooobs" as sexy as possible while spinning her ghostly pasties.

High School Drama Student Ghost
Wanders empty high school hallways, over-dramatically reciting monologues from Our Town.

Social Networking Ghost
He/she would only do and say things according to what his/her online avatars would do or say. Very self absorbed and only interested in tagging photos of his/her orbs in friends albums.

Crazy Cat Lady Ghost
Still scary, but in the funny way.

Amateur Paddleboat Tour Guide Ghost.
Dressed like a civil war reinactor, amateur paddleboat tour guide ghost looks the part, but lacks knowledge of historical context.

Movie Theater Concessions Stand Ghost
Similar to high school drama student ghost, but with more pimples and a bow-tie.

Kirsten Klieman's Ghost
Always at least 45 minutes late for haunting hour and, instead of "Boo!" Kirsten's ghost says "Oh hi! hi! hi there!"

More to come.

this just in

Apparently, Regency Square Shopping Center of Richmond, Virginia thinks the Easter Bunny lives in a giant purple tea kettle.

And, during mall hours, the 'Easter Bunny' patiently sits outside the front door of his giant kettle house on a painted white bench, and waits for children to climb up onto his lap and talk to him about god knows what.

All the while, two of his other stuffed rabbit guests enjoy a cup of afternoon tea in his backyard.

I don't even know where to begin.

cold shops

I'm graduating in two months.

For the last six months, everyone has been asking me what agency I want to work for.

I don't know.

But I've narrowed my list down to the places I don't want to work.

In no particular order, I present to you the top ten agencies on the bottom of my list:

Burgle Turd and Shine
Chotchy and Chode
Farty McSmelliot
Benton and Bowels
Queef
Stodgy and Stodgy (formerly Crotchety and Crotchety)
Ogilvy
Mckibbles and Bits
925
Druga 5

Feel free to add on.