smell ya later Shockoe Espresso

I'm off to another small town, where I'm sure I'll find another local coffee shop to terrorize on the internet. It's been fun.

Note to Self

When trying to return a really expensive outfit, and the lady behind the counter asks you if you've ever worn it, don't say yes.

Dear Retina,

I wanted to ask you this question today when you were helping me at the customer services counter at the Kroger on Broad:

Has anyone ever asked you if your name is pronounced the same way as the name for the light sensitive part inside the inner layer of your eye that is responsible for receiving light and transforming it into image-forming signals which are transmitted through the optic nerve to the brain?

Or is it Re-tina?

Anyway, I would have asked, but you seemed pretty irritated when you told me that next time I should just ask the normal cashier for stamps.

Get out of my head!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30007

Dear Family,

It has recently been brought to my attention that you and your friends have discovered my blog.

While the prospect of my closest loved ones reading my inner most thoughts, desires and fears should probably terrify me, I really couldn't be more elated.

I think the internet is the best thing to happen to us since the '92 Brost Family Reunion.

However - now that the cat's out of the bag - I feel like I have a bit of explaining/updating to do.

First, please don't be alarmed by the name of my blog. It really stems from an inside joke between my best friend and I from band camp and/or a church retreat a few years back.

It certainly has nothing to do with my success as a functioning member of society.

Now that that's cleared up ~ Hello.

How have you been? I hope everything and everyone has been well since I visited home last.

That Christmas party was one for the record books.

And since then, I've never been better.

As most of you know and/or saw, I recently graduated from a prestigious graduate program with a Masters of Science in Mass Communication.

Here is a picture of me you can put in your wallets to show your friends.





Last week all of the recent graduates also attended a two day recruiter session held at my school.

While I haven't received any formal offers yet, I do have a lot of great leads for companies that will pay me enough money to afford Christmas presents for all of you this year and maybe even postage for your thoughtful thank you cards.

However, I plan on staying in town until I find a job that pays well and won't compromise my quality time with you. (I at least want to make sure I'll have the time to call home every Sunday.)

Other than that, things have been great over here in sunny Richmond. I was able to sneak away from my computer for a few hours yesterday to enjoy a SPF45 friendly afternoon at the river with a few of my closest school friends - none of whom brought along a backpack full of beer.

Tomorrow I plan on going to Jamestown. If I'm lucky enough, I may see some historical reenactments and partake in family friendly activities such as making candles out of beeswax.

Again, I hope all is well in Wisconsin and that you continue to check my blog for updates every six to eight months. And please tell Grandma(s) and Grandpa I say hello.

All my love,

Pot

Di-orama

It started about 6 years ago with a sketch.

She wore pigtails and owned a wardrobe of three dresses - green, red and purple.

Some days, when she was feeling a little more adventurous than usual, she wore a dress with a pocket.

For the most part, she was a sad little girl. Where her sadness stems from, I'm not entirely sure - but I feel its at least partially due to her lack of facial features and hands.

Since her creation, she's popped up in my sketchbook on a regular basis, usually during the most inopportune times. Like when I'm inside on a sunny day trying to think of ideas to sell orange juice to mothers.

But sometimes she helps me out. A few years ago, she made her local debut in my first ad ever produced.

It was for a used record shop.

The last I've seen of her was about a year ago, when she starred in her own limited edition comic strip, "Bad at Life".

So, when it came time to start thinking of an idea for my portfolio website, the decision was easy.

I was going to take my sad little girl with no hands and make her famous.

A real internet star.

But to do that, I couldn't just do a sketch.

Oh no.

Her worldwide debut couldn't be reduced to a sketch.

It had to be something bigger.

Something that would be beyond my little girl with no hand's wildest imagination.

Like her very own place.

A sad apartment.

With sad walls.

And on her sad walls, she could hang her very own sad art.

But, most importantly, it could be sad three-dimensional art.

So I bought her a nice little space on the web, and started building.

And building.

And building.

My friends and I hosted nights dedicated just for building.

I even videotaped the building.

And, after about two and a half months of building, I stopped.

And started building in photoshop.

And, for the last 48 hours, I've been installing the wiring in her house using dreamweaver.

Finally, 6 long years of 2D slavery ended early this morning, when my sad little girl with no hands jumped off her piece of paper and into the world wide web.

Now, without further ado, I present to you (drum roll, clearing throat, etc., etc.)


Her website:





If you'll notice in the upper right hand side of the page, there is a large black box with a tiny box within it.

Now, I don't know much about "technology", but I'm pretty sure that tiny box is supposed to be a big picture. More specifically, a big picture of my sad little girl in her sad little room with her sad little art.

If anyone has a clue how to code for firefox, she would be much obliged.

After all, you have to be when you have no hands.

On Puppetry

I went to a local advertising award show on Friday night, and noticed that at the bottom of one of the credit lists was 'puppet maker'. And I thought to myself.....hey, I should really do that for a living.

Make puppets.

I feel like I would be really happy. And I know that everyone would support me in my choice because they know how much I love to build things.

But then I thought about it a little more.

Although they would be very supportive, I'm sure half the reason why my friends and family would encourage me is because they have never met anyone so fascinated by puppets. Or don't really know what it takes to be a good puppeteer. In fact, I'm not even sure I know what it takes to make a good puppeteer.

And, in reality, I'm sure there is this whole puppet world out there and people in it who have more talent and passion for the craft than I could ever imagine. And, I would realize this, as soon as I went on my first puppet interview, diorama in hand. I would see at least 12 other hack puppeteers/diorama makers waiting in line before me. But they all know how to sew, and they would be able to make 2 puppets a minute. And the ones who can't, would have parents who were famous puppeteers in the 80's so they are well connected and would get jobs as interns and move their way up the puppet ladder.

But what if I'm wrong? What if I AM cut out for the business? Surely the novelty of making puppets will wear off after a few years. And then what? I will have killed the only thing that has ever made me happy.

No.

No, I couldn't possibly enter that world. I had better stick to what I know. Copywriting.

And even if I feel like I don't want to do it sometimes, I just spent the last 6 years and way too much money to get a good job in advertising. I can't start over now.

Or can I?

If anyone has a good lead for an open master puppeteer's assistant position, you know how to contact me. Until then, heres a video with dancing zombie puppets.