Friday, November 16, 2007

the solution to over-population ahead

I had this thought tonight as I was making dinner: What if humans were hatched from eggs? Like chickens? And parents had to sit on them to warm them and make sure to not crush them? I think this might be a nice way to ensure that irresponsible people don't reproduce. I suppose this is probably the point of that science class experiment where you have to babysit an egg for a week, but that is neither here nor there. Actually, it is, but I digress.

Anyway, I already know, for a fact, that I would be an unfit parent. When I was five years old, I had the opportunity to test my theory when I found a robins egg below its nest on my walk to the bus stop. After little deliberation, I decided to put it in my pocket and bring it to school for show and tell. Not only would I win the admiration of my peers, but after a few months, we would have a new class pet, respectively named Robin.

Well, lets just say that by the time I got to school, the only thing I had to show was a soggy pocket. And instead of telling, it was more crying.

To this day, I can still remember the feeling of the egg as I held it in my pocket to keep it warm.

And I still don't know what the fuck happened.

Lesson learned.

2 comments:

Nate said...

I'm pretty sure that vagina muscles are far to powerful to lay an egg without breaking it.

An egg the size of a chicken egg, maybe. But, I'm assuming that the egg would have to be at least the size of a small turkey. And I just don't think that the egg shell would be able to make it out.

But at the same time, it might be instinct that would keep the egg safe.

Who knows? Di?

not eb said...

thanks, diana.