Dear Shockoe Espresso,
I tried giving you a second chance because I felt kind of bad after writing a few mean-spirited posts, but now you've really gone and done it.
Don't you know who I am? I'm the daughter of the second best god-damned assistant manager in the tri-county area. His boss's wife's cousin could shut your business down with a flick of a pen.
So, listen up, because I'm only going to say this once:
If you don't bring back your cold, burny, hazelnut coffee by next week, you'll probably still see me, and I'll probably still be cordial, but know, that underneath my smile, I really don't give two shits about what flavor of the day monkey piss you're raping me for. Just as long as it has caffeine.
But your other twelve customers might.
So, knock it off already.
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5 comments:
i want to say i really love how ornery, yet civil you are. you tell shockoe. you tell them to burn. like their filthy coffee.
how are things? this is inappropriate blog comment etiquette. i should be having this conversation over email or maybe through facebook. but i want to know now. there's no time to switch applications.
co-dependent relationships are hard, arent they?
good call.
I like how you use the word rape. I don't know why I like it. I just do. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm looking forward to "cute old people"
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