Every big presentation day, I feel like I am standing in front of my class, completely naked, trying to explain how great my boobs are.
I never think about what to say about them beforehand, because I'm always too pre-occupied with putting on the final touches before their grand reveal, so when the moment comes, and I realize that everyone in the room, including my partner, is looking at my chest with a blank expression, I panic.
I start saying things like 'they're charming...or at least trying to be..ha ha ha!' and share embarrassing stories - from my time I was fitted for a training bra to the time I was felt up on the back of a bus during a band field trip.
And after I've finished talking, there is an uncomfortably long moment of silence.
As I fumble to put my clothes back on, the professor asks my classmates what they think of my work. Someone will inevitably raise their hand and comment on how one boob looks a little bigger than the other or politely suggest I consider a bra with a little more support.
The professor nods.
Blushing, I wander back to my seat, sit down, and spend the rest of the day wondering if nobody was interested in my boobs because they were just too tired, or bored from seeing so many boobs before mine.
Or, perhaps, they just speak for themselves.
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4 comments:
If I ever had this presentation in school, I predict that I would say, "a-WOO-ga!", my tongue would unfold rolling out of my mouth, my eyes would become bug-eyed, and I would repeatedly hit myself over the head with my shoe.
charming. that's exactly what they are. what a special gift you have.
Next time, let me explain how great your boobs are.
Diana,
Was your "presentation" video taped? Just wanted to decide for myself if one is bigger than the other...LOL!
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